Three Meter Zone | JD's Bunker | Poetry | Chapel | American Journal


 

BUCKLER OR BUST

 

{ OR THE ODE OF THE WANNABE SERGEANT}

 

JUAN M. CALVA

 

There once was a former SQUID

Who left the Navy fore what he DID.

 

Buckler was his given NAME.

But little fibs was his claim to FAME.

 

To distant shores his lore was TOLD.

Promotions came to him for being BOLD??

 

He joined the GUARD and the 792nd became his home.

Buckler told the WOOLF his “promotions were valid “ with a squeaky tone.

 

That “ASSHOLE BROWN” was out to get him, was a tale we all knew before.

But the Buckler continued with his lying chore.

 

Calva and Stubbe saw him questioned amid the legal patrol.

He defended himself. And Stubbe said: “ he’s outta control”.

 

But the WOOLF kept a scratching at his door.

Questioned his enlistment, his promotion and more.

 

 

Then came the dreaded day of the missing “GSA”!

 

 

How did he get it, SCRIVEN would ask!!!

What did he do with it!!! Calva would task!!!!

 

Did he rob a BANK?? Kidnap a kid??

Or did he use it to go buy his lid??

 

Calva a report to the COPS he did make.

We knew our reputation was of paramount stake.

 

 

We looked for the BUCKLER high and low.

And nowhere was he found, He would be late for his own SHOW!!

 

A sneaking like the weasel stealing the eggs he did come.

Sliding the keys in SCRIVENS offices he hoped to get done.

 

In a scurry and a twist he did make to try his escape.

The Calva was waiting to choke this dumb ape.

 

SPRINGER and INDY the yelling they could hear.

INDY could not believe his virginal ear.

 

Never more your presence will be made, not here, not there not anywhere!!!

The BUCKLER stood shaking and nodding, all he could muster would be his dumb stare.

 

The BUCKLER is gone now or so we are led to Believe.

 

The Moral of the Story is, NEVER, cheat, steal or Deceive.

 

© Juan Calva

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The story behind the poem:

 

 

The events surrounding this "SIGNIFICANT EVENT" happened about 1 year ago.

 

We the (420th Chem BN) have about 8 AGR (ACTIVE GUARD RESERVE) soldiers of which I happen to be one of them. SGT BUCKLES (The Buckler) was a M-day Reservist with the 792nd Line company from our BN. At that time SFC Brown (AGR) was keeping me posted on events surrounding (MR BUCKLES), it seems the Company Commander (M-Day, CPT Jodie Woolf was investigating (MR BUCKLES) claims of being an NCO (SGT/E-5) referring to his Navy Service of which upon further review looked like a fake certificate (NAVY NCOES ??). So anyway....CPT Woolf was trying to get rid of SGT Buckles on grounds of impersonating an NCO.

 

My reference to SFC Brown is one of past experience. I have worked with him before and doesn't take any B.S.....kinda of reminds me of me!

 

Major Stubbeman is referred to as Stubbe, he's (was) the OIC/FTM-AO. Both him and I are (virtue of position) the senior personnel (AGR) in the Battalion. Oh, yea; we saw (MR BUCKLES ) at the local Taco Time being question by the Police, of which we thought nothing about. But.........the next time we ran into SGT Buckles he started telling us what it was all about, we got the felling he was trying to explain to us that he was doing nothing wrong ( maybe he was).

 

Then the GSA incident:

 

We all came to work on Monday; and were going about our business when I noticed that SGT Buckles pulled in front of the Armory and came around back (locked compound) secured the GSA pickup truck and took off. So I then proceeded to ask the HHD RNCO, SGT Scriven, what was going on. He was clueless. He (SGT Scriven) proceeded to check the Key control log and keys to the facility and found some keys to be missing from his own personal key ring!!

 

We immediately went into overdrive; I called the Police, SGT Scriven tried to call SGT Buckles at home and the Major called our higher Headquarters. Low and behold as soon as we were done with the Police officer here came SGT Buckles strolling in the Armory. He tried to put the keys and log book back in the HHD orderly room, he thought nobody would notice??? I caught him and the rest is history.

 

ROLE PLAYERS:

 

MAJ William Stubbeman: Stubbe

MSG Juan Calva: Calva

SFC Michael Brown: "ASSHOLE BROWN"

CPT Jodie Woolf: The Woolf

SGT Chad Scriven: Scriven

SSG Jeffrey Springer: Springer

SSG Kim Endicott: Indy

 

SPC/E4(SGT?) Buckles,.... Hell I forgot his first name??