Three Meter Zone | JD's Bunker | Poetry | Chapel | American Journal


 

From The Zone

Original Poetry by

Edward W. Luzadder Jr.

 

 

 


From my years in high school throughout my life (which continues on still, I think), I have had many experiences that have shaped my life and will guide me in the future.  I have seen the restrictions placed upon human beings by countries of the former Warsaw Pact, loved, but never been loved, and seen the fear and insanity of war.  It is about these that I have written.

 

The title, From the Zone, can be interpreted in many different ways, and it is best the reader draw these interpretations.  I make no claims that these are great works of art, and they could even be the ramblings of a madman, but they are my ramblings.

 

As you read through these poems and very short stories, consider the many instabilities of life facing each of us every day.  Think about the loneliness encountered by those who do not have anyone to care about them and most of all look deep inside to search out those feelings that are inside all of us.  When these feelings are found, then you will truly understand the title From the Zone.

 

 

 

Edward W. Luzadder Jr.
Somewhere but Nowhere

Copyright (c) 2001                                                                                          

 



1983 Morgantown, WV

For me you should mourn not,

For I have died during the battle hot.

Mourn for those who have someone not,

For I am one sorry, sorry lot.

 

My life is over and eventful not,

For I have fought and fought.

Through the battle I forgot you not,

for I am one sorry, sorry lot.

 

Promise me you will forget me not,

A love for me you had not.

Promise me still, you will cry not,

For this sorry, sorry lot.

 

 

1983 Morgantown, WV

 

Too late to care,

Too late to share.

And now I'm blue,

Cause I'm thinking of you.

 

All the fun we could have had,

All these thoughts make me sad.

Now I do what I do,

Cause I didn't say I Love You.

 

 

1984 Morgantown, WV

 

Birthdays come and go,

As time does surely show.

As with every mans age,

Is the turning of a page.

 

As time goes rolling on,

All the loved ones gone.

No more playing and having fun,

Cause you’re the only one.

 

1989 Fort Hood, TX

 

A cold and lonely night,

Rain dampens every thing in sight.

As I let my mind roam,

My thoughts run toward home.

 

Rain keeps falling from the sky,

A tear drops from my eye.

The sky above is rolling gray,

These memories are here to stay.

 

 

1988 Fort Hood, TX

 

The man-made thunder starts,

Terror runs through their hearts.

The weapons deadly steel will fly,

Only to rain death from the sky.

 

Men with families start to dream,

Hear the deadly shells scream.

Far away are the sounds of home,

It is here their minds will roam.

 

As the sounds of war pass by,

See the tears in their eyes.

As the thunder fades away,

The men will live another day.

 

 

March 1989 Corpus Christi, TX

 

The time has come to say good-bye,

Our memories will never die.

Friends I hope we can be,

Forever like the sea.

 

Deep inside emotions churn,

The flame will forever burn.

Please don't forget about me,

Friendship is forever like the sea.

 

 

1989 Morgantown, WV

 

Tears fell from his eyes,

Yet no one heard his cries.

The pain too great to bear,

No one seems to care.

 

His heart full of pain,

He had nothing to gain.

Slowly his tears fall,

Shadows danced on the wall.

 

In his mind he tried to fight,

Only to die one cold, dark night.

What was he supposed to do,

When he had no one to talk to.

 

 

1990 Morgantown, WV

 

Can anyone tell me why,

Young men must fight and die.

So we can be free?

If so, then let it be.

 

Men give the ultimate sacrifice,

This all should suffice.

If it's so we can be free,

Then let it be me.

 

 

1991 Morgantown, WV

 

As I sit in my lonely state,

My mind always racing along.

Inside myself rages a serious debate,

About myself and what is wrong.

 

Always in search of perfect love,

Yet that love I can never find.

Is it sent from the stars above,

Or is it a small part of my warped mind?

 

 

September 1991, Mountainlair (Morgantown, WV)

 

Alone in life I seem to be,

All alone except for me.

Here and there I sit around,

Watching people without a sound.

 

I see the people walking by,

Yet none will look me in the eye.

Could it be they don't want to see,

What the world has done to me?

 

 

July 1989 Camp Dawson, WV

 

I am lost in love,

In a world of push and shove.

As the world rushes by,

I begin to cry.

 

In a world of hurt and pain,

It is hard for me to refrain,

From the tears of lost love,

In a world of push and shove.

 

 

August 1991, Mountainlair (Morgantown, WV)

 

Today I thought of you,

With your eyes so blue.

I see them sparkle with light,

Like the stars at night.

 

Tomorrow I will think about me,

And how lonely I will be.

Sitting in my cold, dark room,

Thinking of the impending doom.

 

Forever alone I will be,

From this I wish I were free.

In life I play this part,

And try to mend my broken heart.

 

 

March 1989 Corpus Christi, TX

 

The tide rolls in,

The sorrow begins.

A gull flies by,

A tear in my eye.

 

The sun slowly set,

It is hard to forget.

The look in your eyes,

As I said good-bye.

 

 

April 1992 My Room

 

Here I lay awake in bed,

With thoughts of you in my head.

I wonder why I even try,

Sometimes I just want to cry.

 

I see you once in awhile,

And I melt with every smile.

When you leave my heart is like lead,

With thoughts of you in my head.

 

The thoughts go well into the night,

With hopes that you might,

See something deep inside of me.

Yet I know this will never be.

 

So here I am once again,

Knowing for sure I can never win.

Yet here I lay awake in bed,

With thoughts of you in my head.

 

March 1989 Corpus Christi, TX

 

Down by the sea,

The waves saying to me,

Your time is here,

There's no need to fear.

 

Find peace in me,

For I am the sea.

There's a part of you,

In the ocean blue.

 

 

April 1989 Morgantown, WV

 

As I talk to you through the night,

Only three words I try to fight.

I love you a re the words to hide,

As I bury them deep inside.

 

In my dreams I hear your voice,

After that I have no choice.

To tell you this I would surely die,

Even this brings a tear to my eye.

 

I love you more with each passing day,

How can three words be so hard to say?

I am lost and don't know what to do,

So how do I say I Love You?

 

 

March 1989 Fort Hood, TX

 

I am far away from home,

Here my memories roam.

The memories are so hard to take,

So hard I begin to shake.

 

A love lost but never won,

We always had so much fun.

The memories make me blue,

As they all turn to you.

 

The fire there did not light,

Once upon a summers night.

The memories will never die,

As a tear comes to my eye.

 

 

1989, Fort Hood, TX

 

Long ago I lost my heart,

A new affair I hoped to start.

My life is wrong this I know,

Yet my love for you I had to show.

 

How could a love be so strong,

Yet my love be so wrong?

My love is lost and gone for good,

This I never really understood.

 

 

May 16, 1991 Rome

 

Sitting on a 747 in Rome,

The first stop on the way home.

The sky is cloudy, dark and gray,

But it's the start of a beautiful day.

 

Soon we will resume the flight,

And the U.S. we will see tonight.

Back to the land of the free,

Will the states seem the same to me?

 

 

September 1989, Mountainlair (Morgantown, WV)

 

The soldier came home,

Never again to roam.

His battle won, but forever lost,

People stare and wonder at the cost.

 

The soldier sat all alone,

In the dark he is chilled to the bone.

In his mind he relives the fight,

That happened one cold, dark night.

 

He hears the shouts and screams,

In a never ending night it seems.

People stare and wonder at the cost,

They will never know the friends he lost.

 

Their faces come in his sleep,

He awakens and starts to weep.

His friends are gone for good,

This the people never understood.

 

 

May 16, 1991 Over the Atlantic Ocean

 

To A Young Stewardess

 

Flying above the clouds so white,

High above the ocean blue.

I never thought that I might,

Meet someone as nice as you.

 

On so many flights I've flown,

And so many across the sea.

Never have I known,

the kindness you've shown to me.

 

 

March 1990 Fort Pickett, VA

 

A young man goes far from home,

Off to a new land where he can roam.

The decision he made, he thought was right,

The decision he made was to fight.

 

The land was hot, green and wet,

Built with blood, toil and sweat.

A tracer goes into the night,

A battle cry and time to fight.

 

The protesters chant and sing,

They know not the bloody thing.

None care who won the fight,

They didn't see that man die that night.

 

 

December 1990 Fort Campbell, KY

 

The call to arms has come,

It came as a shock to some.

The world is not the same,

Yet they all came.

 

As the minute men did before,

They all head for the door,

The home fires still burn,

Yet some may never return.

 

For the men in the Guard,

This life is always hard.

Yet this country we will defend,

And the world we hope to mend.

 

 

May 12, 1991 Jubail, Saudi Arabia

 

I look deep inside my heart,

I look to the stars above.

I'm trying to find the place to start,

To describe to you my love.

 

The time I've spent away,

Just increases the pain.

And with every passing day,

The pain pours like rain.

 

My life I can start again,

If I knew what to do,

Or knew how to begin,

To show my love for you.

 

 

May 16, 1991 Rome

 

I see your smiling face,

Every time I close my eyes.

Though I am far from that place,

My love inside still cries.

 

Why can I never find,

The place in your heart?

Is it all in my mind,

Or should we just part?

 

The mistakes we both made,

And those things we didn't do.

Why can't we let them fade,

So I can show my love for you.

 

February 1, 1991 Over the Atlantic Ocean

 

I feel pain at the sight,

As the coast fades away.

The feelings I try to fight,

As my mind goes astray.

 

My thoughts turn to home,

And then they turn to you.

Then to the sand in which I roam,

All of them make me blue.

 

The night sky is full of stars,

The moon is pale with light.

It is hard to hide the scars,

That were left from the fight.

 

 

August 1, 1991 VFW 548 (Morgantown, WV)

 

Hear the quiet of the night,

The sounds in the absence of light.

Feel your heart race and pound,

With every step and foot of ground.

 

Hear the lonely sound,

Of the rotors going around.

Feel the joy swell inside,

As it comes to give you a ride.

 

Slowly it rises high,

Deep into the nighttime sky.

Now the ride is done,

As you hit the ground at a run.

 

Hear the lonely sound,

As you lay against that mound.

The rotors going away,

Are we here to stay?

 

 

Unknown Date

 

I think I'm going crazy,

My life is very hazy.

I don't know what to do,

When I think of you.

 

I'm lost and all alone,

The cold chills me to the bone.

The love we could have had,

The thoughts make me sad.

 

Too short the time we had,

This is truly very sad.

My love for you is strong,

My only wish, I'm not wrong.

 

 

Halloween 1990 Morgantown, WV

 

The end has come to another day,

With children in costumes out to play.

I watch the children run and roam,

As I sit here alone at home.

 

The days of youth have long since past,

Why do they seem to go so fast?

My body so young, my mind so old,

Why in my heart do I feel so cold?

 

My love has been long since lost,

I see my age and ponder the cost.

Love for me no one had,

As I sit here alone and sad.

 

 

Unknown Date

 

What is it about me,

That makes me so lonely?

Is it the love I've never shared,

Or the people who never cared?

 

Why does my love go on,

After my emotions are gone?

How much can one man take?

I write as I begin to shake.

 

The end has come I fear,

Yet I face it with good cheer.

To no one I will say good-bye,

As I die deep inside.

 

 

February 14, 1990 The Book Exchange (Morgantown, WV)

 

The worst day of the year,

I can't believe it's here.

Another day of pain,

Why did it rain?

 

My heart is torn in two,

I wish I could tell you,

All that I want to say.

Yet I knew there was no way.

 

I need someone to care,

I need someone to share,

The words I have to say,

On this Valentines Day.

 

 

February 7, 1991 Saudi Arabia/Desert Storm

 

Deep beneath the earth and clay,

Where my body will someday lay.

Lay my friends long since past,

A shadow upon me they will always cast.

 

They died for a place desolate and bare,

Their lives they gave because they cared.

For a land far away and so small,

Their call to glory will forever call.

 

Their faces are forever in my mind,

A stranger band I will never find.

Friends I will someday see,

As the end comes for me.

 

 

January 1991 Fort Campbell, KY

 

The world leaders seem quite content,

When they say war is imminent.

The lives lost are not their own,

When the bullet hits the bone.

 

Soldiers and sailors prepare to fight,

Nations at war show their might.

Death and destruction it will be,

All of this we will see.

 

Another round hits and burst,

One more soldier for a hearse.

He will never again see the gore,

Of this world at war.

 

 

January 29, 1994 Morgantown, WV

 

Love is something distant for me,

Since I lost that feeling long ago.

It is a feeling which longs to grow,

Somewhere within the depths of me.

 

The beast who was hidden deep within,

The beast which I wanted to slay.

It was you who released it to play,

And now I must fight it once again.

 

Love is something I want to show,

Yet in reality I don't know how.

Love as a feeling is here right now,

And it is a feeling I want to know.

 

I write these lines only to you,

With hopes you might see,

These feelings deep inside of me.

Now I only hope they will show through.

 

 

May 12, 1994 Morgantown, WV

 

When I think about the love I have to give,

And the dreams which I hope to live.

I often think of things in the past,

The memories of which seem to last.

 

All of those which I have loved,

And to the wayside to which I was shoved.

These are the things which stay in my mind,

And no good results of which I could find.

 

With all of the experiences I have had,

Many of which always make me glad.

Yet, none of these will help me find,

Myself that very small peace of mind.

 

 

May 15, 1994 Morgantown, WV

 

Memorial Day is a day to remember,

A fallen comrade or service member.

Yet to most, this is just another day,

Off from work with which to play.

 

For those who fought it is so much more,

As we remember our friends and family lost to war.

Remembering those who fought freedoms fight,

From the brightest day,  to the darkest night.

 

These were people from all walks of life,

Who went to far off lands so full of strife.

These were those with nothing else to give,

Yet they gave all so someone might live.

 

We all enjoy the freedoms, which were won,

By someone's father, daughter or son.

So, if it's no trouble, to ask in some small way,

Remember those people on Memorial Day.

 

 

Fort Polk, LA  29 June 1997

 

All alone I sit in a small café,

Figuring out just what to do.

What can I write, or say?

An emotion so strong,

And my words so few.

 

Yet, words are my only way,

To keep myself from being blue.

What can I write, or say?

An emotion so strong,

            I only wish I knew.

 

Sipping my coffee, I ponder the day,

I could reveal my feelings to you.

What can I write, or say?

An emotion so strong,

            Is my love for you.

 

 

August 1997  Leesville, LA  

 

Watching TV and seeing the faces,

Of soldiers in far away places.

Their eyes I see are hard and cold,

For nothing can hurt the brave and the bold.

 

Onward they look showing no fear,

Waiting for the angry crowd to clear.

A government this country wanted to mold,

Or so these brave men were so often told.

 

Drawn into someone else’s great civil war,

With bloody killing fields longing for more.

Millions of people have fought and died,

Millions of families mourned and cried.

 

Peace in the region we will bring,

And put a stop to this bloody thing.

But when we leave what will we see,

Peace and love, or a killing spree?

 

 

17 September 1997, Over the Atlantic  

 

Once again the coast fades into night,

With me travelling on another flight.

Off to another troubled, far away land,

This one with snow, not fine blown sand.

 

I look out the window and see a star,

Then I think of you and where you are.

When I close my eyes, you are here,

If I could just reach out and pull you near.

 

In the morning I will awake and find,

Many thoughts of you still in my mind.

Yet so far away from me you will be,

From that pain, I will never be free.

 

 

27 December 1997, Camp Caisson, Bosnia

 

Longing to learn the meaning of it,

Which has forced so many to quit.

But for me, I just look, listen and sit,

And ponder the wonder of love.

 

Unsure of the result of knowing,

This thought, through my mind is blowing.

Is it something gained through growing,

Or is it sent from the heavens above?

 

21 May 2000, Huntington, WV

Talking with you on the phone,
Suddenly I begin to feel alone.
With each and every word I speak,
I feel lost, abandoned and weak.

 I told you I loved you the other day,
Hoping desperately to hear you say,
Those same three words back to me,
Yet, that was not meant to be.

So alone, I sit and alone I’ll be,
Wondering if you will say them to me.
Suddenly I begin to feel more alone,
As I try to call you on the phone.