Women In Combat
Where is Baghdad Bob?
And Other Scientifically Unsupported Theories
J. D. Pendry
Iíve read and heard many opinions and theories on the hot topics of the day.† Most of them begin with ďBased on my years of experience as a CNN GeneralÖTerrorism expertÖ Middle East expertÖ Political AnalystÖĒ so I thought it was high time I put forth some of my own unscientific-not-supported-by-any-kind-of-research-just-my-own-concocted theories.
JDís Theory on Women in Combat.
Let me begin by asking you married men a question.† Would you want to see your wife with an automatic weapon in her hands while suffering through PMS?† Iíll let that thought stand alone.
Itís been my experience that women, once placed on an equal footing with men, can become quiet aggressive and sometimes even outright domineering and ruthless.† Iím sure all of you drive.† My daily commute is 40 miles one way.† What Iíve noticed is that when you wrap a couple of tons of steel around a woman (equal footing) some interesting things occur.† Have you ever had a soccer mom tailgate you at 80 miles per hour (not that I would ever break the speed limit)?† I can tell you with certainty that hell hath no fury like a soccer mom in an SUV the size of a small town.† Sheíll tailgate you, cut you off and flip you off all while applying eye brow paint, talking on the cell phone, steering with her knees and attending to the four kids in the back seat.† This is a person whose genetic make up allows her operate a large vehicle at high speeds while performing multiple tasks.† Sounds like an armor vehicle crewman, er person to me.
Donít you think a woman can strike fear in the heart of a male combatant?† Let me ask you another question.† How many of you male warriors fear that unavoidable encounter after a day of golf and Moosehead?† ďHoney, Iím HoooomeĒ.†
Women probably have no place in the light infantry, because of their physical make-up Ė even the best conditioned lack the required upper body strength, but driving tanks?† But men, write this down and tack it up on the wall where you can read it.† The Armyís combat support units are filled with women so donít be misled into believing that they are not going to be in the fight.† These units are not able to fulfill their combat support role and leave the women behind.† So, women of arms, write this down.† Ensure you understand the basic soldier defensive skills of constructing fighting positions, firing stakes, interlocking fields of fire, call for fire, range cardsÖ And when the platoon sergeant ask you if you have your dead space covered, he isnít speaking about the distance between your male buddyís ears.† Any combat supporter, male or female, not good at defensive techniques is just a speed bump. [Add convoy operations and reacting to ambushes.] You should strive to be a speed bump with teeth.
You might not believe this, but I wrote that down a couple of years ago.† Our recent action in Iraq caused me to remember it.† One woman KIA, two WIA and two POW.
JDís Theory of Choices.
Life is about choices. Itís also about living with the consequences of the choices made.† Iím amused with Tim Robbins, Martin Sheen and some other Hollywood celebrities.† They claim that theyíre being punished because of their anti-war stance.† Maybe they are.† But, hereís how I see it.† If you become famous by pretending to be someone else, then you probably shouldnít expect many people to take seriously your political views.† After all, when do we know the acting has stopped?† Freedom of speech, freedom of expression, etc. are great things.† If you are an entertainer and choose to use your celebrity status to make political statements, then you become a politician.† Just as they do with politicians, people will support you or not based on your views.† They will vote for you by watching your movies, or not and by hiring you for jobs, or not.† Do you want to be a political activist or an entertainer?† You make the choice and you get the consequences of it.†
JDís Theory on the Nintendo Generation.
We all asked.† Can they fight, will they fight, are they disciplined, are they strongÖ.† Three weeks, one Army, one country, light casualties.† Any questions?
JDís Theory on Baghdad Bob the Iraqi Information Minister.
"There are no American infidels in Baghdad. Never!"
I donít understand Bob.† Iím not even sure he made the deck of cards and like the rest of the gang, everyone is trying to figure out where in the world is Baghdad Bob.† Iíve been pondering that.† Some say that pieces of him are in the bomb crater, while others think he killed himself.† Too bad, he could have had a major contract with Saturday Night Live.†
I just came back from a TDY trip to Louisville (pronounced Louahvil), Kentucky.† I stayed at the Sellbach Hilton Hotel.† Nice place.† They have a world famous bar there that features 44 varieties of bourbon.† No typo, 44.† They have a great deal for you also.† For 25 bucks, theyíll let you sample 15 of them.† No, Carolyn, I didnít.† I did think about it however.† Knowing my low tolerance for alcohol, by the fourth or fifth sample, I wouldnít taste much of anything.† By number 15, if I was still conscious, Iíd need assistance to remain upright and my lips would definitely be numb.† Iím thinking that most who spend their money donít get through all 15.† I think Bob is behind this idea.
"No I am not scared, and neither should you be!"
Jacques Chirac called President Bush the other day.† I wonder what the President called him.† Chirac also made a statement that Paris is the United Statesí best ally in the fight against terrorism.† Maybe, Jacques is actually Baghdad Bob.
"The American press is all about lies! All they tell is lies, lies and more lies!"
Did you read the New York Times Op/Ed article written by Eason Jordan, CNNís Chief News Executive, titled The News We Kept to Ourselves, April 11, 2003?† Itís an unbelievable article describing incidents of the Hussein Regimeís brutality and torture and as the article states that they [CNN] kept to themselves.† A dozen years worth, never reported.† I believe Bob may work at CNN.
ďLast December, when I told Information Minister Muhammad Said al-Sahhaf [Baghdad Bob] that we intended to send reporters to Kurdish-controlled northern Iraq, he warned me they would "suffer the severest possible consequences." CNN went ahead, and in March, Kurdish officials presented us with evidence that they had thwarted an armed attack on our quarters in Erbil. This included videotaped confessions of two men identifying themselves as Iraqi intelligence agents who said their bosses in Baghdad told them the hotel actually housed C.I.A. and Israeli agents. The Kurds offered to let us interview the suspects on camera, but we refused, for fear of endangering our staff in Baghdad.Ē Ėfrom the article
JDís Theory on Looting.
The news really went berserk over the looting didnít it?† Looked to me like the average great American city right after they won a major sports championship.† Letís trash the city, then when no one is looking, weíll steal some stuff.† Looting in Iraq was different.† I heard one imbedded reporter speaking about east Baghdad, which is mostly Shiite Muslim.† He said the conditions were worse than any slum that heíd seen in Haiti.† The Saddam gang brutally oppressed these people for 3 decades while amassing fortunes and palaces at their expense.† It was the oil wealth of the Iraqi people sold illegally that created these fortunes and palaces.† The looting is just an expression.† For years, they watched the privileged few live grandly while they had nothing and received nothing except much abuse.† They could not hurt that gang then, but they can now by taking their stuff.† And the Iraqi museum Ė inside job.
JDís Theory on Diplomacy.
North Korea has decided that it now wants to hold talks with other countries instead of holding out for one-on-one talks with the United States.† Syria has gone from denial to offering up Iraqis and sealing off their border.† Iran is talking openly of reforms.† There are others doing some serious squirming about now, Iíll bet.† Itís a major diplomatic success, donít you think?
Iíve nearly weaned myself from the cable news.† I had a miserable time in Louisville in this regard however.† The hotel room only had CNN, Paula and Wolf leave much to be desired on hard-hitting war coverage.† They did have Fox on in the bar, where they also had 44 varieties of Bourbon.† Iím OK and life is returning to normal.
The Bunker will be on the road again for the next three weeks.† Iím braving SARS and the airports for a trip with my wife to the Land of the Morning Calm.† Itís the Far East version of the Red Rocket Road Trip; only this time Iím not the tour guide.† Iíll tell you about it when I return.
I hope all of you had a joyous Easter with your families.† Keep our soldiers and leaders in your thoughts and prayers.
Copyright © 2003, J. D. Pendry, All Rights Reserved